berri estranged

Communication is part of our everyday basic function. We need to interact with each other, we crave it. Have you ever seen on Sims, when your Sim does not communicate with another Sim , after a while your Sim goes mad- imagines a giant bunny and communicates with him- I digress...
Drama is more part of girls life then in any boys it seems...
I found a very interesting look at the drama triangle-When we communicate with certain people, there are sometimes games involved. A game, its a repetitive, sometimes destructive, but always predictable exchange between 2/ more people. The "Why don't you... yes but" game- example below...

Alice- I'm so bored
Jane- Why don't you start a new hobby
Alice- Starting a new hobbies cost money
Jane - OK,why don't you visit a friend
Alice- They all live so far away- what a mish!
Jane- OK how about doing a pamper night- painting your nails, facial and body scrub
Alice-Ya but I don't have nice nail polish colours
Jane- Why don't you write at least 1 reason why we are still friends!

So you get the point, Alice is presenting a problem, yet is not willing to take any solutions and Jane knows Alice will not take any of her suggestions,yet she keeps answering with new options. This sort of conversation will happen more than once as it somehow fulfils a psychological need in both of them. Alice feels helpless and wants to feel this way, while Jane wants to feel compassionate.
By definition the Drama triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interaction between the three roles, the Victim, the Saviour and the Aggressor.

Victims: believe they are at the mercy of forces beyond their control. They often don't take responsibility of their own actions and don't think they have the ability to change themselves or their situation. Typical characteristics are complaining, incompetence and helplessness. A typical statement from a victim would be "I cant do anything right, no matter what I do. Nothing seems to work"

Saviours: see themselves as doing more than their share to help out others. They often seek out victims trying to offer them advice or solutions while neglecting their own problems. Typical characteristics :hidden anger, resentment, tiredness and tactical use of guilt. They seem to be the most positive of the 3, but is their help genuine? You would hear them say " I am always here for you helping you, but I cant, I'm tired".

Aggressor: This guy would typically be seen blaming the victim and criticise the enabling behaviour of the saviour without providing guidance/ assistance or a solution to the underlying problem. They can be typically unpleasant and good at finding fault. They often feel inadequate underneath. They typically criticise with threats, can be loud or quiet.

Note that any one person can be more than one of the above. Players can switch roles during the game. While a healthy person can play either one of these roles a pathological role-player will avoid leaving the comfortable and familiar environment f the game. Often if there is no situation this person will create one, and so the drama triangle of destruction will continue on its war path to kill peoples days/ moods and social naturalism....
The only way to "escape" this drama triangle is to conduct yourself as an"adult" and not participate in the drama.